the remedy

i really don't understand why i automatically make myself the tragic character whenever possible. Maybe it's because now is the time that i eager for change and first time realised the difficulty to change the situation and convince people to give me what i want. i chose to look at the dark aide, and wishing to receive pity. haha, all i did just harmed myself and wasted precious things.
i don't know now, when to be persistent and when to adjust myself instead to push limits.
life would be o much easier if i just change my own opinion, but how to work hard and reach goals if i kept on changing my goals?
maybe goals at not meant to change , what should change is my approach.
but i really cant force myself to look away from what i missed....i am reluctant to look at others' facebook profile to find out what others do with their friends...when i am locked at home with my grandparents. maybe(again) it is my duty to entertain my grandparents....
just when i stopped smiling and got extra sleepy...drawing and music became the remedy for the depression. i longed for the peace i find when i draw with the music on......i am wishing to create a new blog with my own manga drawing uploads everyday about the stories in college and my everyday life...hope to make abit of money along the way too hehehehe....
wish everyone having a full filling holiday
some people are going to start in IMU soon...i felt a strong earge to follow them for 1 sem untill i go somewhere else.......sign...good luck to them...hope they make lots of new friends and hav good lecturers.... hope we will still hang out....they got to wear formal every day...sounds cool though :)