i dun

i dun know how to write
i just dun cherish
i cant explain
is that in my genes that i wont learn from my lessons?
i just hav to complain about at i lost
but never, thank for what i get
o i will waste my life away
in emptiness and despaire
when all i hav is gone before i can hold on
when i hav no one left

distance is good

i am bad
my heart is black
i am selfish and revengeful
lazy and ignorant
brainless

and i thought i was innocent
how funny
it should have been foolish and stupid
how can i be so dirty......i dun know
maybe distance is good
v good for people like me
closeness is dangerous.....the closer , the more damage

today.......

after learning jet lee's positive attitude of appreciating the undesirable things that happen in life.... i start to feel better
if i havnt being locked up at home for so long....would a gathering dinner be something to be so happy and excited about?
now waiting for my L licence , i guess i will just make my " house husband " life constructive
today when i was suppose to just ask my grandparents i bumped into the room when they were having a chat
they were happy to c tat i went to talk to them, and said i talk to them too little.....
appears that a TV program brought up some sad memories of my grandpa
he cried abit , regretting that he didnt manage to take care of his mom and younger brother who died long ago........
well....it would be foolish to say things too positive at that moment
i realised that things like "learn from ur mistakes" or "u did wat u could" wont help much when facing the true tragedies in life......tat have formed a life time regret and sorrow
yes....there are some mistakes that we cant afford make....like not treating parents the best we could
they made who we r today...............right?

wooo there is still such people in this world

just as i cursing ans swearing to my self all day for being locked up at home....
i watch the tv show on Phoenix tv about lives of ex-Taiwanese soldiers..

sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
sadddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

here is how one spent his youth:
during his 20s as a solider he couldnt get married as the income for them were low and life was hard in taiwan
then the economy became better only when he was in his 40s
arranged dating didnt work out cause the ones he met mostly has children or are too young
he didn't trust wives too young and couldnt support too many children
then he worked at a super dangerous construction site after he resign from the militiry, lots of people died there from land slide......he had no choice since he was not skilled in other things
then he started to donate his savings to support children to go school.....
but he was living in a place that looks like rubbish dump and he didnt even have money to go hospital
he was alone and he was 90...there is no one to take care of him
he couldnt even take shower himself, so he had to call hospital service once a week to help him take shower.
then a Taiwanese family took him in
they were touched by his total donation of over RM 4000000....while suffering like that himself
the family took him as their grandparents and be his family
for the first time in his life there is a family to celebrate his birthday with
his old home in china mainland was no longer a home
his parents died, sister married to cities,,,,no one is there any more..only a small house


the Taiwanese family was so open with love and the old man is so kind hearted i could not believe......now there is something i can believe in....and there is nothing i can complain about when there r people who dun even want to buy themselves new clothes in order to save them for charity donation.....

wont the world be so much better if there are more people like them?

it's Valentine again!

ate in pizza hut with my family tonight and sitting opposite of me was a slient chinese couple....

and at the left of me was another quiet indian couple....

i didnt find too many couple actually....maybe because i was in carrefour=_='

and today is elc sports day

met lots of goo d old juniors...the guys are so tall now and girls looks better

couldnt go to kim's goodbye dinner....mission impossible with grandparents keeping their eyes on me like now...

hope all couples dun fight today

hope the hardwork for romance pays off

hope tonight is not to hot for couples making out...........hahaha

today is really hot....is it too much love in the air?

over night at yew's

first time in my life that i can remember to stay up till 4

my grandparent and my dad will go MAD if they knoe i was that tha famous mamak till3 30 in the morning......hahahah

there were so many rats........

great "bed" time with the cute innocent yew and horny voilent tony.....

muhahahaha

luckly my tuition the next day was cancelled.....the 3 of us got up around 2

the remedy

i really don't understand why i automatically make myself the tragic character whenever possible. Maybe it's because now is the time that i eager for change and first time realised the difficulty to change the situation and convince people to give me what i want. i chose to look at the dark aide, and wishing to receive pity. haha, all i did just harmed myself and wasted precious things.
i don't know now, when to be persistent and when to adjust myself instead to push limits.
life would be o much easier if i just change my own opinion, but how to work hard and reach goals if i kept on changing my goals?
maybe goals at not meant to change , what should change is my approach.
but i really cant force myself to look away from what i missed....i am reluctant to look at others' facebook profile to find out what others do with their friends...when i am locked at home with my grandparents. maybe(again) it is my duty to entertain my grandparents....
just when i stopped smiling and got extra sleepy...drawing and music became the remedy for the depression. i longed for the peace i find when i draw with the music on......i am wishing to create a new blog with my own manga drawing uploads everyday about the stories in college and my everyday life...hope to make abit of money along the way too hehehehe....
wish everyone having a full filling holiday
some people are going to start in IMU soon...i felt a strong earge to follow them for 1 sem untill i go somewhere else.......sign...good luck to them...hope they make lots of new friends and hav good lecturers.... hope we will still hang out....they got to wear formal every day...sounds cool though :)

Terengganu for quiet CNY!~~~...

the waves were not safe for swimming

the beach were ok

but the only thing to do there was to be in the swimming pool

the pool i spent all my time in.....for the whole trip

well it is also to burn off the buffet dinner....i almost burst

my success sea shell hunt
got alot of good ones to make photo frames at home!!!!

CaCo3 bubbles of the sea

1st morning sun at 8 am

2nd morning cant c the sun.........

wat a quiet trip..... with family...

nothing to complain about......

Chrno Crusade....another sad anime

a sad and very religious anime.......
i couldn't understand some parts due to lack of knowledge for Catholic

rather enjoyable but ending v v v v v vv werid and sad
i really suck at history so i didnt get the ending....

Chinese New Year......do wat?

new year prayer
chinese spicy steamboat!!!!!

big tooth cow

Washing tree!!!!!!

new year eve dinner